Mr Darcy wants to change
by Jannet Doe
Summary: Mr. Darcy wants to change his life, before going to Netherfield. One Shot. Edited.


**After all the help I have had from Patricia, I had to play with this little one shot again. So be sure I added to the errors and they are defiantly mine. Sorry.**

Darcy was agitatedly pacing in his study in his London townhouse, his hands in his already dishevelled hair. After being harassed by his Aunt Catherine again with her wish he'd marry his cousin Anne, desperation almost overwhelmed him.

_I have had it! __ I am my own master after all. __The unsolicited expectations Society and family have for me, I just cannot abide to it. __I do not like my life as it is, or has been for a long time. Come think of it, my unease and unhappiness stems from my introduction into society. Marriage to Anne is out of the question, she is sickly and frail, not to forget I am not attracted to her at all. I shudder to I think of having to bed her and I do want an heir if possible. Moreover, I do not think Anne would live through childbirth, if I was inclined to have her as my wife. I feel for her in a cousinly way but that is it. _

_I am a gentleman farmer, not some mindless dandy squandering my inheritance gambling and whoring around town. I love nature and tending to my estate and tenants, I hate socializing and large gatherings. So why do they expect me to marry some empty headed socialite who wants to spend most of her time in London. All they know to do is gossip and spending my hard earned money. _He thought despondently. _I want some happiness for a change; I have seen it is possible in my parents' marriage. __ I don't need to enhance my wealth or connections. I have to find myself a wife and sister for Georgiana, and she will have to be genuine, loving, witty and intelligent. That is what Georgiana and I need._

_Before mother died, she had told me to find someone I can love; she said that I would know when I look her in the eyes. I feel so lonely sometimes; please Lord let that happen for me. Soon! _

_I guess __**I **__have to change my attitude and look elsewhere. Bingley and Richard tell me all the time, my attitude and me hiding my feelings with what they call my blank face or mask is not helping me to socialize. Behaving so, will not aide me to find a kindhearted lady; she might be frightened of me they jest. But I do not think what they try to tell me it is so farfetched. __**I**__ do have to change, for my life to be different. Well if that is what I have to do I will, I will conquer this. For going on like this is not an option. I have to broaden my horizon and change my attitude._

_I will go with Bingley to Hertfordshire and see if there is a woman who suits me in that county, I do not care if she has connections or wealth I have more than enough for the both of us. Pity Miss Bingley will be there too, but I will deal with her beforehand, __**no**__ Miss Bingley as a mistress for Pemberley that is for sure._

"Bingley, my friend, I will be going with you to Hertfordshire as you asked. However, I have to have a talk with your sister first. You know I have tolerated her inane pursuit of me, but it has to stop. I want to find a wife and cannot have her disturb that with her ongoing hanging on to me."

"I was wondering when you would do something about her," Bingley replied lightly.

"Excuse me, Bingley! I did not do anything about her, because I was afraid that I would insult you," Darcy exclaimed, slightly offended.

"Of that you should not have worried Darcy, I have told her time and again to leave you alone, but she is determined to be mistress of Pemberley" Bingley told him with a naughty grin.

Darcy replied with an equally wicked grin. "Well away with Mr. Proper then, I will tell her that she has no chance of being my wife before we go to Hertfordshire."

Bingley looked somewhat mischievously, before he responded. "You have my blessing, Darcy."

"Thank you my friend, I will let her down nicely, but firmly." Darcy stated decisively.

**Darcy Townhouse London**

"Mr. Darcy, how pleasant it is to see you here," Miss. Bingley cried affected, while coyly fluttering her lashes.

"Well, Miss Bingley it is my house you are in, so that should be no surprise," Darcy said with barely hidden irritation.

"I came to visit Georgiana and I did not know you were in," she replied playfully with an insincerity that was plainly visible to Darcy.

"Georgiana is practicing the pianoforte, and is not to be disturbed. I would like to have a word with you Miss Bingley before we leave for Hertfordshire, so would you be so kind to follow me to my study?" before entering his study he called for a footman to stand in the open doorway. No need to be compromised by Miss Bingley in his quest to get free of her ongoing pursuit of him.

"Well yes, Mr. Darcy, anything you want." She replied coquettishly. _He is going to propose. Dear Lord this is what I have been waiting for all these years. I am finally going to be mistress of Pemberley. _

"Miss Bingley, before I come to Hertfordshire with your brother. I feel I have to address something I think you desire, and I do not," Darcy stated brusquely.

"Pray, carry on sir," Miss Bingley replied a little bit less sure of his intention and certainly less playful.

"I hope you will not be offended but I need to be frank, I have the distinct feeling you would like to become mistress of Pemberley," she unintentionally nodded her head slightly. "I will have to disappoint you here, because that will never happen I assure you. I am not necessarily looking for a woman of wealth or of the Ton. I want a woman I can love and respect. Please forgive my boldness, as I hope this will give you the inducement, to look elsewhere for a husband. One who appreciates all your accomplishments and will want you for yourself." _Although, I highly doubt that_. He thought vindictively.

For at least a second, Miss Bingley was entirely undone by his speech, she did not know where to look, but bravely said. "Thank you Mr. Darcy I might do just that, you do not have to worry about me bothering you, Sir." _Charles was right after all, I am absolutely humiliated. Never mind, on to the next man. Maybe, a titled one? With my accomplishments, comportment and dowry that is not too much to ask? I pity Mr. Darcy for not seeing my worth, one day he will be sorry for letting me slip through his fingers. _

"Thank you Miss Bingley, now we understand each other, I appreciate your reaction immensely. I hope we will have a nice stay in Hertfordshire." _Lord, am I thankful you are going to look elsewhere._

"I hope so too Mr. Darcy." _Are there titled men in Hertfordshire?_

**Assembly room Meryton, Hertfordshire**

_I will have a pleasant time. I do not care if the people assembled are from the country. They will be just like my neighbours in Derbyshire, and I am able to socialize with them there. Therefore no mask and no reservations, if I do not want to I do not have to see them again, _Darcy told himself again and again, like a mantra.

When the Bingley party entered the assembly in Meryton, the room fell silent.

Mr. Bingley was good looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, and easy, unaffected manners. His sisters were fine women, with an air of decided fashion. His brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, merely looked the gentleman; but his friend Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, and noble mien.

The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man, the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration.

When Mr. Darcy entered the room, he noticed a young lady on his right with the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, who was bold enough to hold his gaze when he walked past her, before lowering her eyes again. She had a little smile on her face, which looked like she had a pleasurable secret of her own.

That, Mr. Darcy found intriguing, so he was determined to seek out an introduction as soon as possible.

Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy, had soon made themselves acquainted with all the principal people in the room, and they found themselves introduced to the Bennet family.

"Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley, may I introduce you to Mrs. Bennet, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet and Miss Mary Bennet." Sir William Lucas said, proudly and very loudly.

The women curtsied and the men bowed to each other, expressing their delight in meeting each person. Mr. Bingley hastily asked for the next two dances with Miss. Bennet, Darcy asked Miss Elizabeth to dance and both were accepted with grace.

When the next dance started, they stepped in line, bowed and curtsied to each other with a pleasurable smile on their countenances.

They started their dance and Darcy had to ask, "Miss Bennet, may I be so bold as to ask you about something I observed just now when I came in to the room?''

"Well, Mr. Darcy you may always ask but I do not know if I am inclined to answer." She replied with an in his eyes, very lovely impish grin.

"Let me give it a try, Miss Bennet. I saw you having a secret little smile on your face when our eyes met, and I am intrigued with what you where thinking just then."

"Oh you saw that," She said blushing, "It is a bit personal sir, do you really want to know?"

"Yes I do Miss Bennet," he stated with a wide mischievous smile.

"You must think me silly, I will feel embarrassed but I always rise to a challenge and I will therefore answer. My grandmother told me, before she passed away that I must only marry if I have the deepest of love for my husband. Consequently, I asked her how I would recognize him. She told me that I would know when I looked him in the eye, and when I saw you I thought about that and how handsome you are. I am sorry sir, but you did ask."

She did not look at him while she spoke, but she looked up when he said, "I think your grandmother gave you sound advice Miss Bennet. My mother gave me the same, maybe we should listen to them." Their eyes locked.


End file.
